The Wisdom of Randy

Randy, so perfectly embodying the Zen saying, “Let Go or Be Dragged”

There is a group of poses in the Hot-26 yoga series that is called the Spine Strengthening Series.  It consists of 4 different postures in the position of lying on the floor, belly-down, and then moving/lifting certain parts of the body to strengthen the spine. You could say I strongly dislike this part of class. Honestly, sometimes I skip one or more of these postures, but most days I push myself to see them through. 

In one class recently, however, I was so tired by the time we got to that portion that I just gave up. I said, “Screw it”, collapsed on my stomach, and stayed there until that entire sequence was over.  

I had a lot of time to think while I was lying there. I thought about Randy from the movie “A Christmas Story.” If you know that holiday gem then you probably know the moment I’m talking about (pictured above): the neighborhood bully, Scut Farkus*, shows up to terrorize everyone, at which point Randy falls down in his snowsuit and can’t get up on his own. His big brother Ralphie, in classic big-brother form, deserts him and runs away to save his own life. Randy is left lying in the snow. As I lay there on my yoga mat, the image of Randy and that great line from the script came to mind: “Laura lay there like a slug. It was her only defense.” 

I think Randy has a lot to teach us. There I was, slug-like. Depleted. Done.  Sometimes total surrender looks like that. And sometimes it’s exactly what we need. It felt really good to let go in that moment. There’s a saying in yoga that the posture truly begins when you want to get out of it; in other words, when you want to quit and you feel really weak and your muscles are shaking is actually the moment when you’re getting stronger. So the idea is to stay and push through the discomfort/exhaustion/shaking. And yet. Here we have another paradox, because also sometimes the most powerful thing we can do, the wisest and best, and yes, even the most productive thing we can do, is to stop. And rest.

A yoga practice is such a generous thing in that it gives you these incredibly powerful lessons that you can take with you into the rest of your life and apply to all kinds of things. What I’m learning through those slug-like moments on my mat is that in many situations in life it’s actually not the pushing through that gets us where we want to go. It’s The Letting Go. Very often that is the thing that not only allows us to rest, but also opens up the space for energy to flow and then momentum can pick back up.

There is a Daoist concept called wei wu wei (which literally means “doing without doing”) that I am kind of obsessed with. It is also sometimes referred to as effortless action or action through inaction. In our current culture, when we talk about the flow state, or getting in the zone, this is what we are talking about. Whatever you call it, letting go is how you find it. Surrender is the secret sauce.

“Life was molding me each day to become who I needed to be in order to handle tomorrow’s tasks. All I had to do was let go and not resist the process.” ~Michael Singer

I love how Michael Singer writes about surrender. He has an entire book called The Surrender Experiment where he relays the events that happened in his life when he stopped trying to control and micro-manage every last thing. It’s an astonishing story, and I highly recommend it if you’re looking for a great read to launch you (ease you? flow you?) into the new year in a new way.

There are lots of places I try to control and micro-manage my life but I’m working on this unhelpful tendency. And, like everything else I practice, I’m finding it easier and easier to let go.

So why am I talking about this in a singing blog?

I’m talking about this in a singing blog because it’s one of those Life Things that is also a Singing Thing. Just like the way you practice yoga points to the way you live life, the way you approach singing can show you so much about yourself. Do you try to control and micro-manage your singing, or the way in which you are “heard”? Are you trying to force things to happen? It doesn’t work. Not only does it create excess tension that our voices have to fight their way through, but it also keeps a singer “in their head” and this is not where we want to be when we sing, or when we create. Where we want to be is in our bodies. Where we want to be is Flowing. Feeling. Allowing. And yes, Surrendering.

These states can feel very difficult to access because we are so culturally wired for doing. We’re so programmed to believe that we need to make things happen, we need to MAKE our voices sound good, we need to MAKE our careers happen. And if things aren’t happening, then it must be because we’re not doing enough.

But what if it’s the opposite? What if we’re doing too much?

What if we’re pushing through so constantly that there isn’t any space for rest and recovery, and we’re just exhausting our bodies and minds all the time? The “bodies and minds” piece is important because you can be doing all the efforting, all the work, In your mind alone. The mind is sneaky that way. It consumes an enormous amount of energy to over-think things. And I probably don’t need to remind you that your energy is one of your most precious resources.

In light of all this, as we move into this most-busy-est time of year, with all the expectations of doing and going and shopping, my wish for you is that you will hold this image of Randy in your mind. If you find yourself frantically trying to check any remaining items off your 2023 To-Do List, my wish is that you will let yourself let go, surrender. Don’t worry, there will be plenty of moments to push through, to stay in that metaphorical yoga pose and get stronger. 2024 will give us plenty of opportunities for Doing. For now, let’s do ourselves a favor, take a page out of Zen master Randy’s guidebook, and practice just Being.

*Note: This is not a typo. For years I thought the bully’s name was “Scott” Farkus but apparently it is not.  It is “Scut”.