Change Pt 2: Paths in the Woods
Neural Pathways
As soon as I hit send on last month’s blog about change, I immediately thought “I didn’t even mention the neural pathways.” That, combined with a lot of positive feedback on the first blog, made me want to follow up with Part 2. Certainly, many, many things can be said on the subject of change but in this post I want to hone in on one very simple part of the process.
The bad news of last month’s blog was stated in the title: significant change can be really hard. I talked about some of those reasons but didn’t talk about this one: everything we do and think on a habitual basis, including our beliefs and the way we see ourselves (our identities), involves a series of neural pathways. The really, really good news is this: we can change our neural pathways. You may have heard this wonderful news already. We can create new neural pathways that support us in how we want to live (and of course sing). We can decide that the old ones are not serving us anymore and choose the thoughts we want to think. Now, this takes some commitment and practice, but like anything else we practice, if we practice correctly we will get really good at it.
Consistency is Key
Once I heard Kyle Cease say something about ““the gravitational pull of your old identity” and that hit me like a ton of bricks. I SO feel this. We can decide to change, we can take really strong action toward that change, and we can educate ourselves all day long about the thing we are changing but if we aren’t practicing effectively every day, that old way of being, those old neural pathways, will take over and we will find ourselves repeating patterns and acting out that old, familiar story. Has this ever happened to you?
Paths in the Woods
I’ve always liked the analogy that compares neural pathways to paths in the woods. A well-worn path is easy to walk on, right? It’s cleared already, it’s smooth, it’s visible. If you are standing in the woods and you can either turn left down the well-worn path or right into the woods where there is no path, it’s (obviously) way easier to move down that cleared, well-worn path. The path where you know what you will encounter. The path that is easy to walk on. The path you’ve been down a million times. The path to the right, however, requires that you hack away at trees and vines and move rocks and encounter wildlife and who-knows-what-else. You have to make a path, you have to create one, you have to break a sweat. If you think about this image related to habitual thoughts that you want to change, you have to work at that new neural pathway. But just like the path in the woods, the more you work at it, the more you walk it, it becomes clearer and smoother and easier, and–here’s the cool part– the old path simultaneously grows over and becomes the more difficult one to follow. Eventually you won’t be able to see it anymore. Simple repetition makes this happen. (Important note: Sometimes we need support beyond the practices and repetition I’m discussing here. Sometimes there is a history of trauma or addiction or some other aspect to our fear of change that needs extra support and love and attention. If that’s you I encourage you to take advantage of the many incredible forms of therapy and other healing modalities that are available to us now! There are even online options like Therify and Better Help. And you can supplement that healing with the practices and suggestions I’m offering here).
Talk Your Way There
The things we tell ourselves every day have a tremendous influence on our ability to change: they either reinforce that well-worn path or help us create the new one. This is why affirmations are so powerful. If you’ve never worked with them you are missing out on one of the most simple and direct ways to change how you think and live. You’ve heard people say “speak it into existence”, right? Affirmations give you an easy way to practice the new thoughts, the new neural pathways that are associated with the new way of being. And truly, all you have to do is practice. Say them every day. Multiple times a day. You might feel silly at first, or wonder if they are doing anything, but stick with it and you will notice a difference. You can write them, read them, say them outloud, record them and listen to them, or, preferably, all of the above. (Pro tip: listening to and/or reading affirmations before you go to sleep is particularly helpful as you will take those words into your subconscious).
I’ll give you an example: let’s say you want to change your relationship with performing. Let’s say you struggle with nervousness and it affects your ability to enjoy being on stage and sing your best. So a simple way to begin to change this situation is to start telling yourself a new story in the form of affirmations. You will likely need to implement some additional tools and practices to transform your performing (like visualization, breathwork, physical practice) but you will start to shift it in a significant way if every day you take some time and say/write/listen to your desired new thoughts:
“Every day I feel more relaxed when I think about being on stage”
“I am becoming more comfortable on stage all the time”
“I have so many tools that help me navigate performance anxiety, and I am noticing that my relationship with performing is changing”
“I am a strong performer”
“I love being on stage”
And so on and so on…
So, what is it that you want to change? You can apply affirmations to anything: vocal healing, powerful performing, creativity, better sleep, improved relationships. You can even get super meta with it and start telling yourself that you’re getting really comfortable with change, that change itself is feeling easier all the time. And before you know it, a beautiful new pathway exists in your brain that will lead you to places you’ve always dreamed of but didn’t know how to find. Happy travels!